Most of My Life, my thoughts have been near constantly dominated by what 

I can only describe to be a + Detached, Internal Narrator+ 

a 

voice that is ME, yet NOT ME. 

" Conscience"many would declare it; but for me it seems more Distinct/Separate from what certain Philosophers call The "I" Inside. Or, The Thing-in-Self. 

As a very young kid I thought it was God, or some variety of Angel. But since then I've grown to doubt the Judeo-Christian shit raped into my mind before the age of consent

to eternally die a bit

 

To Eternally 

Die 

A Bit .

+++++++++++++

And

where is your 

Truth

now

Dear Sufferer?

As you push your 

Boulder

further 

up Eternity's Lonesome

Hill?

knowing that

its

Doomed 

To 

Fall!

+

You NEED This 

Madness...

it

is a Soothing Drug To 

you.

A Sugar Pill Placebo 

of

Fleeting

joy

which momentarily takes

away

Your Blues.

(until the next impending

boulders fall.)

+

I've found  meaning in

your Lies.

and

My Meaning is to mock

you

till you REALIZE,

that 

you must do The Same.

make it up as you go along...

cling

till you no longer care

or

replace it with the Next 

New

Truth.

(Tomorrows Hated 

Lie.)

+

The Moral of this fragment 

is...

that..

everyones scared a bit 

Their

"First Time."

but...

its not so bad after 

all..

once you learn.

(To Eternally Die a Bit.)

J.Stephen.H

Unfinished Rant

 

      Its hard to see the madness.

     When you've always been a

     part of it.

      You must be Crazy enough 

     to stand outside of it All..

     while grabbing The Ugly 

     Bull of Life

     by The Horns and screaming: 

     "My

     Lovely Sheep!!"

    you have always belonged!

    (to Me)

     

      "Welcome Home."

      "That Place 

     Old Familiar

     Strangers meet."

      (For The First 

       and

     Very 

      Last Time.)

      +

      My first death scared me a bit,

     because I had never died before.

     Never felt the Terror of Potential

     Nothing tearing at my Newborn

     Heart.

      Nor mistrusted (in my dying

     moment)

     The Fables of An Average 

     Youth.

      But Now (given the Realization

     we are All Eternally Dying 

     Beings) My Fears have been replaced

     by A Boredom which burns

     My Soul, and leaves me Gnashing

     My Rotted Teeth at Those Careless,

     Bastard Stars. 

      (Who have never felt what it is..

     to be Made of Scars,)

+

      Shit...

     My Coffin...

     My Coffin is ill fitted..

     And This is quite The Opposite..

     Of being Laid To Rest;

      Hold me Fellow Broken

     Angel,

     in The Hours of My

     Loneliness.

      &

     See Through My Eyes The

     Blindness 

     We All Suffer as I struggle to

     see...

    A Candle...

     (flickering within me.)

      revealing fragments of 

     TRUTH..

      those Paintings on The 

     Caves Cold Wall.

     Drawn By Illiterate hands.

     (who could have built it all.)

     +

      

      

     

      

      

dear death

dear death.
+++++++++
I spend an inordinate
amount
of time considering my
end.

but how often does
death
consider me?

perhaps he views me
as
a friend?

(and thinks my jokes
are funny.)

dear death i like you
do you like me?

circle yes/no/or
maybe.

(now the crowd laughs
hysterically.)

sometimes i feel
like
an Asshole Ghost,
Haunting Himself

because no one else
will;

and I spend hours
contemplating what
hurts the most,

the time I waste,
or Kill?

dear death i hate
you do you hate me?

circle yes/no/or
probably.

(now
the crowd grows
still.)

j.s.h.

confessions of a Mortal Janus

Confessions of a Mortal Janus.
++++++++++++++++++++++

Beginning to learn the
hard way,

that hell is not
lakes of fire, or being
confronted with torture
and physical torment.

It is existing in a world
surrounded
by profound beauty which
never seems to move you..

and

Smiles are Objects
Without Meaning!!,

as you look up at the
sky and see blackness
peppered with flecks of
light

put there as if
Creation
were Born with a Sense
Irony,

constantly
seeking to
Re-Create
Itself.

+

Hell is
The
Love That
Hates

you,

(since
you
Burn
so
differently.)

The shit
you would
die for

because it's
Absence would
surely
Kill You.

(though
you go
on living
separately.)

+++++


Learning the hard
way,

that The Devil is not
a metaphysical entity
created by Perfection
to test Imperfect Faith.

It is an Absurdists
Reflection
of everything I
Love
and Hate,

while hoping
to be
Equals
with My Opposites

because I
secretly crave the
Temporary

Heavens that
their Endless

Hell's have
made!!

(and..

besides..

the alternative
seems
lonely.)


j.s.h.

on ethics.

I recall something that a wise
Young friend of mine said
A few weeks ago, which has
left such an impression upon
Me that I now feel compelled
To share, and reflect on his
Words.

"What makes you a good
Person, (he said.) Is how
You choose to act whenever
You don't think anyone is
Watching."

On the surface, this statement
May seem mediocre in light
of the many complex arguments
posed by various philosophers
within the field of ethics, but
(To me) it effectively captures
the essence of what it is to be
Moral, and act in accordance to
One's sense of higher reason
in ways which perpetuate the
Greater Good.

The School of Life.

The School of Life. ___________________

Since Life is a School, and each day teaches

us new lessons, one can assert that (regardless

of age or acquired Wisdom) we are all merely

kindegarteners in The School of Life..who Learn

from (and Teach) Others as Our Universe expands,

and Progresses towards it's next Spiritual-Evolutionary

Stage of Cosmic Development. (which some have

posited is an endless process.)